Worst Bosses Of All Time: Part 1

We see bosses as dramatic, intense fights between life and death. But what happens when it goes terribly wrong? Unfortunately while boss battles are generally spectacular, they don't always work as intended. PALGN has decided to look at some of the worst bosses in gaming history and just why they didn’t cut it. So in no particular order here are the top ten worst bosses of all time, according to me, Matt Bassos.

WARNING!
THIS ARTICLE WILL EXPLAIN - IN DEPTH - BOSSES FROM CERTAIN GAMES, AND MAY THUS CONTAIN SPOILERS.
READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Generally when you arrive at the final boss of a game, you’re in for one of the hardest battles of your life. Of course this is not always true, which is the case for the final boss of Fable, Jack of Blades. The game hypes this legendary figure as the hero among heroes; the most powerful warrior in the world. Not only this, but when you finally confronted him, he is supposedly using the strongest sword known to humanity. Surely then he would be the ultimate challenge? Well that’s where things kind of went astray, because the legendary Jack of Blades could bite the dust in a dozen or so hits. Like most of Fable he was just too damn easy, a major problem for any boss, but even more so for a final boss. It’s a shame really, because Jack had the potential to be the ultimate villain, apart from the fact that he was more fragile then wet tissue paper.



Abyss, the final boss from the fantastic 2D fighting game Marvel vs. Capcom 2, endured many problems. For starters he was bland and unimaginative, a serious fault in any big bad boss. While players had to fight against three different forms of Abyss, they were all boring, ugly and easily exploitable. In fact, each of his three forms got progressively worst as the match went on, especially his last, which appeared to be a giant, red sprite of goo. It was easy to exploit poor old Abyss as well. Heck just being Cable and pulling of a Hyper Viper Beam, while Abyss was in his final form, scored a good 80 hit combo, effectively taking away half his life. Abyss shows us that being over ordinary and repulsive leads to a bad end-of-game boss.



Bosses like to attack in many different ways to undermine their opponents. Some use swords and axes, others guns and rockets, but Neo Zeed from The Revenge of Shinobi used his hair. Yes you read right, this guy actually used his hair to cause physical harm to our hero Shinobi. This fact alone is more than enough to qualify Zeed as one of the worst bosses of all time, but yet this final battle had more problems. Personally I hate struggling against a boss with a time limit, as in my opinion it provides unnecessary stress and quickly leads to frustration. The final battle against Zeed was one of these instances, as he had to be defeated before your poor girlfriend got squished by spikes. It didn’t take long for this to happen either, so fighting this hair swinging freak become all the more difficult. The only worthwhile experience that occurred from fighting Zeed in The Revenge of Shinobi was when it was finally over - whether that be he was finally defeated, or you threw your Mega Drive out the window in anger.



Yes a giant forty-foot tall baby was a real boss in the 16-bit classic, Zombies Ate My Neighbours. While seeing a Godzilla inspired baby may be laughable, it still wasn’t a push over. As with anything forty feet tall, being flattened was your main concern, as you ran for cover against this crazed toddler. Worst yet was his milk bottle, which fired giant exploding bursts milk and was another thing which forced you to cover. While saying this boss was more unbelievably stupid then bad, it still does a pretty good job in holding a spot amongst all the other terrible bosses in this article.



As much as I love Secret of Mana the final boss was a bit of a letdown. After what seems like countless hours of gameplay you arrive at the final confrontation, only to find a furry, half dragon wannabe. Yes the Mana Beast might not be the worst boss in history, but after fighting so many bosses throughout the entire game, you expect the final one to go out with a bang. So what was so bad? Some of his attacks could not be blocked and when coupled with his immunity to all kinds of magic, things became really annoying. But the worst thing was the tasteless representation of the almighty Mana Beast – a cute looking dragon. So much more could have been done.



Sardius is being listed in this article today, not because he was a bad boss, but more so because it takes an eternity to face him. You think that when you finish the final level of a game, you should receive the honors of fighting the final boss. Well this was not the case with Super Ghouls ‘N Ghost, and used the cheap technique (no doubt to make the game seem longer) of making you play through the entire game again in order to face him. One sitting of this game was challenging enough, but playing through twice was generally above the attention span of the average gamer. Hardcore gamers that actually struggled through the game a second time would find that Sardius was actually nice final battle to this great game. Unfortunately Sardius makes the list today because no one really ever got the chance to fight him.



You may be wondering why you are seeing Metal Gear Solid 2 in this article as it was also mentioned in the Best Bosses of all Time Part 1. Well as I like to say, the good comes with the bad, and while every boss in Metal Gear Solid 2 was an excellent fight of skill and determination, one sticks out with wasted potential. Vamp the blood-sucking knife specialist was just too simple to defeat, and very easy to exploit. Sure he looked cool, and had a terrifying attitude to match, but like the battle against Tartarus in Halo 2, the arena felt small and clumsy, which allowed you to easily out-wit Vamp. He was also very predictable and followed a clichéd pattern of attacks, which once understood allowed you to dominate the playing field. Exploitation was his real weakness however, and even on the Extreme difficulty, he was easy to take out with a barrage of stinger missiles, which severely dropped his vitality. It is a true shame, because Vamp was a very interesting character and the confrontation against him should have been so much more.



Rhoemer was a shockingly horrible final boss. He was a man who ran around with a grenade launcher and could bend the laws of reality; I wish I was as tough as him. He could withstand constant assault rifle fire without moving a muscle. He laughed as you fired your grenade launcher, the impact bouncing right of him. Even going point blank and offloading a direct shotgun shell to his head wasn’t enough to stop this magical being. In fact the only way you could defeat Rhoemer was with a gas grenade. Shooting him with over a million bullets couldn’t bring him down, yet a simple gas grenade could? Lamest. Boss. Ever.



I bet many of you are surprised to see Halo 2 mentioned in an article which contains the word “worst”. Let’s just cut to the chase, Tartarus, while not an absolutely horrendous boss, had a few serious niggling issues. The level design in where the actual fight occurred was the biggest problem for Tartarus. It just didn’t feel solid; there were too many floor gaps, boxes and other crap that just got in the way. The fact that there was a gravity lift in the centre of this messy playground arena didn’t help either, as you or even Tartarus himself would accidentally step into it, and be thrown sky high. While the level design didn’t do Tartarus any favors, his unexplained invulnerability aura and one hit knock outs didn’t help either. With a better fighting arena, this final battle could have been an enjoyable experience, but the boys at Bungie really dropped the ball on this one.



Big stupid looking final boss. Check. Unimaginative, repetitive fighting patterns. Check. Extremely easy to beat and has no real chance in killing you. Check. Listed as one of the worst bosses in history. Check.

Until Next Time...

Well here we have some of the worst bosses in history. Don't fret if a particular nasty boss wasn't included in this article because no doubt he will appear in later editions. Until then however good luck in fighting those bosses.

Opinions in Best Bosses Of All Time: Part 1, are solely those of PALGN staff writer, Matt Bassos.