So if we can all just feign short-term memory loss for the next few minutes, it'll be less painful for everyone. Anyway...
Best Game in Which the Freaking Music Could Not Be Turned Off
Super Mario Galaxy. Will someone please inform Nintendo that not being able to turn off the music in a video game contravenes the Geneva Convention? Brilliant game, yes, ta very much but ENOUGH with the plinky-plonky sugar-coated elevator music accompanying every second of the game! Jeez. Also, while we're here, not being able to skip through text immediately is unforgiveable. Do I care what terrible fix Ms. Peach has got herself into again? Not one tiny bit.
Tinkle-tonkle, plinky-plonk, strummety-strummety pling! Grrr...
Most Irritating Gamer of 2007
Anyone who posted a YouTube video of themselves playing that dreadful Dragonforce song on Guitar Hero III, on expert settings. Honorable mention to everyone who taped their Granny playing Wii bowling and decided to share it with the world.
Geek of the Year
Johnny Lee, inventor of the Wii headtracking system. If he isn't currently being carpet bombed with vast amounts of money, I'll be very surprised. As good as world peace and harmony in 2008 would be, I'll happily settle for game that blends Resident Evil 4, the Wii Zapper and Johnny's awesome ninja skillz with a Wii.
Most Persistently Irritating Game Design Flaw
Save Checkpoints. Seriously, whichever evil sonofabitch first came up with the idea of only allowing a game to be saved at certain checkpoints deserves to be roasted slowly over the hot breath of a thousand SOMETHING CLEVER HERE. Maybe it was a necessity back in 1542, before consoles had things like hard drives and flash memory, but it's inexcusable today. It may well increases the tension and challenge of a game, but then the same can be said for a gamepad that emits paralysing bolts of electricity at unexpected moments. Just stop it, Mr. Gaming Industry, okay? Stop it now.
Cheapest Thrill of 2007
I picked up Flatout 2 during the recent Steam sale for only US$10, and while it has the depth and complexity of an undercooked pancake, it does provide all the crashy-bangy racing idiocy you'll need for the forseeable future. Also, it's been a while since I shouted MR. ROBOT! at anyone, so let me just say this - MR. ROBOT! Finally, Peggle on the iPod is perfect for portable procrastination and shirking of workplace responsibilties.
Most Overlooked Game Genre of the Year
Hex-based wargaming. Am I alone in enjoying the thrill of nudging crytpically labelled little squares across obsessively detailed maps while being hamstrung by insanely complicated rulesets? I spent a significant chunk of 2007 fumbling through Battlefront, never quite understanding what was going on but having a grand old time anyway. If you're new to the genre, may I politely introduce you to Commander: Europe at War? A great place to start and there's even a devastatingly handsome and informative review just here, should you need further persuasion.
Battlefront - an icon-tastic good time for all the family! Or not.
Best SpudGun Writer for 2007
While the odds were largely stacked in favour of this being myself, it is, in fact - drumroll please! - PALGN forum member Karai Pantsu who offered to marry me simply for using the word 'pillock' in July's SpudGun. I'm a big fan of easily pleased people, though I will say this - dinner and a movie first, Mr/Mrs/Ms Pantsu. You saucy pillock.
Best Gaming Peripheral
It's a toss up between an old PS1 DualShock that's connected to my PC with a USB dongle-thingy, or my Logitech G5 mouse. I've got a few PC gamepads gathering dust in the cupboard, and none of them have come anywhere close to the comfort and functionality of the DualShock. Can't remember where I got the USB connector for it - from defunct website Lik-Sang, I think - but I haven't had any need for anything else since then. The Logitech G5 was a necessary purchase for two reasons. Firstly, the wrist pain from battling a dreadful wireless mouse threatened to put an end to my PC gaming career. And secondly, the G5 has a lovely blue/black crackly finish that's pretty. Disappointingly, it hasn't made me any better at FPS's but at least I no longer finish a two hour TF2 session with clicking wrist bones and a right hand like a T-Rex's foreclaw.
Best Gaming Moment of 2007
BioShock is the only game that I can remember in any detail, which is testament to the power of atmosphere over gameplay, or something. However, my greatest gaming moment of the year came courtesy of Hoyle's Puzzle and Board Games. Why? Because it was the first game PALGN sent me to review and after a lifetime of buying games, being sent a freebie to review and then - amazingly - getting paid for the privilege was a dizzying experience. Didn't matter at all that the game was as underwhelmingly average as expected because there is, and always will be, something astonishing about being paid to play and write about games. I highly recommend it. And no, you can't have my job.
BioShock or Hoyle's Puzzle and Board Games? Difficult to say.
Worst Gaming Moment of 2007
French smarty-pants Jean-Paul Satre wrote in 1944 that 'hell is other people', and they didn't even have the internet back then! Imagine what he'd make of a night on Xbox Live. An evening's gaming can quickly turn into a knee-deep wade through sewage if the wrong crowd turn up. Nothing illustrates this better, or more depressingly, than the widely seen 'Gayboy' Xbox Live video. It serves as a timely reminder that the entire games community - developers, players, writers, everyone - have to bring the hammer down on this sort of drivel as hard as possible.
Most Continually Mystifying Corporate SNAFU
Easily the Wii's ongoing shortness of supply. Despite it being a year since Christmas '06 saw every Wii in the known world vacuumed off the shelves within seconds, Nintendo still couldn't sort out whatever the problem is and greeted the Christmas rush with a cheeky grin and a shrug. For a company that, y'know, makes video game consoles, it's a little puzzling. Sure, they're dependent on various other suppliers around the world churning out vast numbers of technological doo-dads but whatever. If I can take a nap while waiting for a pie to cook in the oven - multi-tasking, see? - what's so difficult about building a few million shiny white waggleboxes? Nothing, that's what. Honourable mention to Sony for, well... just being Sony, I guess. Bless 'em.
So there you go, nail firmly pounded into 2007's coffin. 2008, the International Year of Starcraft (or The Potato, according to Tristan, which automatically makes it the best year ever - Starcraft with chips!), is upon us and appears to have been cunningly designed to contain exactly twelve Earth months of video gaming. It's a leap year too, which means you can guiltlessly fritter away a whole day on Barbie Horse Adventures and still come out ahead. Brilliant.
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